What was the worst thing you ate today?

365 QOTD

What was the worst thing you ate today?

Oh. Rice is the culprit. Lemme rephrase that. Too much rice it is.

Rice in the morning. Rice for lunch. Rice with tonkatsu for late dinner finale! 😨

So I won't feel guilty, I will have to study until 2am tonight.

Universe, gimme strength, gimme love, gimme peace, gimme life. The truth is, gimme the medicine for indolence. I pray.

On a scale of 1-10, my day was a _______.

365 QOTD
On a scale of 1-10, my day was a _______.

My day was a 7.

I started the day like usual. Decent breakfast and a few readings for school. A documentary video on Space Exploration.

Then, the postman drop something on my posthole-- a rejection letter for a visa application that I had applied for a few weeks ago. I really should have gotten that JCB card instead. But I can always go back and work on that in the future.

Also had to deal with my frustrated little sister who had ran out of patience explaining to my dad why we cannot disconnect the cable services for the tv.

I didn't have any class today but will have a full-packed Saturday, so I took the time to prep for that. Luckily, it was quite smooth and I had the rest of the day to finish my module for LLE 201- Theories in Language Acquisition, which I did, but there are a few other that I needed to have more time, so I plan to finish tomorrow.

Tita G suddenly sent a message saying that we are going out for dinner. So, I rushed home, dropped my bags and changed clothes and went to the meet up place. We had yakiniku for dinner. Since Tita G wasn't in the mood for drinking, I opted to go to The Bar for a round and probably go home.

But, it didn't happen that way. Ms. Y was in the house! She had co-workers with her and were kind enough to let me join the group. It was fun and Ms. Y was translating those things I cannot understand and what her colleagues meant as well. I'm also getting better at playing billiards with Shige-san as my teacher.

We capped the night with a karamen!

I should be in bed by now as I still have a breakfast date with Tita G tomorrow.

Truly, life is surprising me in many simple ways. With kind people surrounding me, keeping me away from assholes and just reminding me to take care of myself for the right person to come.

But still.......

No matter how challenging my day had been, my day is nothing compared to what they are commemorating today--- The Nagasaki Bombing. Hiroshima Bombing was Aug 6th, I'm just not sure but it was just a few days ago too.

I remember going to Peace Park in Nagasaki and that Memorial obelisk where the bomb was dropped, it felt heavy and deeply sad. Each visitor can only a prayer and bow for the eternal repose of the souls of those lives spared on those fateful day. Japan was never the same again after that.

But still.......
..... seriously, Wednesday, how cruel can you get?

I started my day pretty well. Did some cooking and laundry as well.

Then, it all started when I was about to go to work.
Just a few steps away from my house, raindrops started to fall, and then in a matter of seconds, it was a downpour! I had to leave my bike somewhere and walk to the bus station. It hasn't been 5 minutes from the time I left and I am already soaking wet. Debated if I will go back to my house and bring extra clothes, but decided to move forward instead. Caught the bus then fled to work. I have a 12noon class and my pants was soaked with rain. Ugh.

On lunch break, while checking my Study Portal.
The teacher uploaded updated Study Guide and deadlines. Had she updated the portal site on time last Saturday, I could have started working on the other write ups. All now due on the 11th. Why herrrrrr? Why now?

You didn't stop there.
When I decided to pick up my bike from where I left it, I can't find my key! I thought I left it in the bike, but wasn't there. That was 30 minutes walk back and forth. Only to find that the key was stuck inside my eyeglasses case inside my handbag. Why you do this to me?

Then, I got home only to be shocked by a flying cycada landing on my face! I am very sorry my little cycada, but I can't let you stay inside my home. So I had to let you out. But thank you for the visit. It felt like a welcome kiss. Ehhhhh...

Oh well, the day ended on a good note at work. Finished lesson plans for a loaded Saturday, only got a few more brushing up tomorrow and then maybe use the spare time to study and write. Thank you, Wednesday.

Okay, complain time over. I still have class from 11pm to 12mn.

I would still love to have that hug, though.

What memories did you think about today?

365 QOTD

What memories did you think about today?

I remember the night we first met, we agreed to meet on my way home from work and I met him in front of a famous bookstore nearby. He invited me for dinner and we ended up at an Italian restaurant. He ordered more than we can consume but we weren't allowed take home the rest of the food.

I remember him sending me a photo of him. That one and only photo.

I remember him seeing him again after awhile, I don't know who did the ghosting first. Perhaps it was me. Coz I didn't want to appear clingy nor too interested.

I remember seeing him again, he took me to dinner to a Thai restaurant nearby that I never knew of before. Then, another dinner at the same jidori place where I tasted my first jidori and shochu before.

I remember that night I slept in his arms while crying deep in the night coz I miss home so bad. I remember waking up still snuggled in his arms. But he had to leave coz he had a flight to catch.

I remember stopping myself from being the first one to send a message coz I don't want to appear too eager and desperate.

I remember him stopping by at my place after drinking the night, walked me on my way to work then disappear.  Then, the other incident of him filling out forms for me coz I have lost hope in google translate and in myself.

I remember embracing him before he left and having the urge to tell him I miss him but I didn't coz I don't want him to know that I like him already.

I remember him being distant. Close yet far. Then, maybe sooner or later, he will disappear entirely.

Then, I will remember the pain of unrequited love once again.

What did you create today?

365 QOTD
What did you create today?

I created essays. A self introduction essay as part of my first day back in MA class!
I also created a takeaway essay about Neil Gaiman's lecture on Reading and Literacy.

Saturday night was a bit crazy. Tita G was kind enough to adopt me for the night coz I told her about my fears on typhoons. Before that, her friend took us to a fine dinner at a very cozy Chinese restaurant in town. Then, we went to this Filipina-owned snack bar somewhere in downtown. I think I drank more than I should. At least I didn't cry nor did I drunk-dialled a number. Who would I dial anyway? LOL.

My sisters were kind enough to stay on the video chat with me today a little longer than usual just because it's raining very hard all day. Eventually, they had to leave and I occupied myself with school stuff. I found out that a couple of my classmates are also based in Japan!

Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto is supposed to be a light reading but it's enormous focus on loneliness and coping up with death is a little heavy but it has good points, and maybe if I get the time, I will pick on some quotable quotes from it and make a blog entry about it. 

I had always wanted to have my very own collection of boudior photos. But never really had the courage to ask any of my photographer-friends to do that for me, instead, today, I experimented on timer shots and poses. It is definitely hard to hide these fats and belly. I need to do more sit ups and crunches. LOL.

I haven't eaten dinner and it's almost midnight.

What was the last gift you gave?

365 QOTD
What was the last gift you gave?

I think, it was a cash gift for my youngest sister to upgrade her laptop. I forgot for what but it's something related to making it better for rendering images for her school projects.

I've watched the latest movie craze in Manila, Kita Kita. Shot in Sapporo, Japan. So much feels about the movie. I ought to write something like their 1-10 in the movie.

After drinking a glass of wine tonight, I cried again, scolding my boyfriend from the distant future as to what's taking him so long to appear it my life, crazy eh?

There is typhoon coming and I can't help but worry.

My student checked my Japanese diary entry earlier today and he said, it was quite impressive. Coming from a Japanese, I am quite reluctant to accept such praise, but I would rather take the benefit of doubt that he is telling the truth. Either way, I am proud of my work. It took me an hour to write such.

Deary Dear Glass of Wine...

I grew up in a place always badly-stricken by typhoon. But all through those years, those typhoon moments were the worst nights of my life. I couldn't sleep. I kept worrying even for just torrential rains and thunderstorms. I had to stay awake in case we had to evacuate.

Today, as forecast is being delivered, I can't help but worry again. Though, I know, I am in a better place, a better building and also, I have no one else to worry about but myself, I still worry.

Also, I don't want to tell my family back home about it coz for sure they will also worry about me.

So, I will just drink a glass of wine and hopefully that would put me to sleep.

Right now, all I feel is the calm before storm and it freaking scares the hell out of me. Every pieve of news about storms scares me and I can never be brave enough not to show any form of panic nor fear.

Deary dear glass of wine, put me to deep sleep get me through this night. Then, tomorrow night, I will take you again, sleep,  until all these chaos is over.

What is the one thing you want to accomplish tomorrow?

365 QOTD

What is the one thing you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Lots of work. Reading. Another diary entry in Japanese.

What did you let go of?

365 QOTD

What did you let go of?



My friend will be organizing an outreach program for the displaced kids because of the ongoing civil war in Mindanao, on the 16th, and I wish I am there to help out personally.

For the past two years, August 2nd was a day my good friend, Cher Jo and I, are together somewhere but this year, we broke the chain. Hopefully, next year, we get to go somewhere again. I always find it as an early birthday present.

My friends are asking about how to start investing on stocks, which is good. Our new motto now is: Friends that invest together, make "yaman" altogether.

I haven't been to the library for weeks now, I really should get the grit back. With that, I re-watched Angela Duckworth's talk about GRIT on TEDTalk. For me, it is one of the most powerful talks I have ever known and always come back to. To remind me of my Whys to push forward and persevere.

So, this is how it feels to be an OFW. To be able to accumulate gifts and give aways when I come home, I really should start soon in accumulating stuff for everyone who matters to me. With the meager salary, I earn, it's better to purchase them little by little, so that my own savings plan and investment won't suffer. Little steps. Little steps.

I am not big on birthday celebrations but I always make sure that I get to spend the day with my family and very few close friends on separate occasions. Starting this year, I have to start getting used to the feeling that I have to let the day pass by like an ordinary day.

My mother would always say that August is the hardest month to get by eversince, but it is one of the most blessed months because of us. 3 kids out of 6 sibs celebrate birthdays in August, add to that the other close cousins we have born on the same month of August.

So much going on in my head and my heart again. I just need a hug and someone who will listen to my reckless mumbles, stupid ideas, wild dreams and big hopes.

What did you have for lunch today?

365 QOTD

What did you have for lunch today?

I was supposed to just have canned tuna and rice for lunch but I bought chicken nuggets at Family Mart and left the canned tuna unopened for another day.

Work ends at 12 midnight.
From the day I decided to go back to my online job, I usually just hurry back home clean up the mess I had left for that day, eat dinner, chat with family and start working at 10pm til 12mn. I just leave my weekday rest day free of any scheduled work so I can focus on other house chores and personal errands.

I wish to drag the days faster to December so I can go home and get as many hugs as I can. Hug is a very rare commodity at this side of the earth. Add the fact that I have limited number of friends I can call my family in here.

My MA classes will start of August 5th. I hope my laptop won't crash on me sooner than expected. Not yet, Macy. Please hang in there. I actually saw an Asus Ultrabook Core i7 on sale at Amazon at an incredibly low price, but I just can't still afford it by 10k yen. I just have to get lucky the next months to see the same kind of deal again and I really wont have second thoughts grabbing the chance to get that. For the meantime, lemme get that 2-pc bikini on sale that I really will never have the courage to wear.

Gaijin Girls of Miyazaki

My friends and I went to the beach today.  It was our first sort of out-of-town trip too.

I remember a few months back as I was battling homesickness and loneliness, I thought that I am not really in need of a boyfriend. What I needed, to cope up with my depression, was a girl friend. Someone I can talk about make ups, dressing up, giggling about boys and other girly stuff.

Then, on my Nihonggo class, I met T, D, L and C. Instantly, I had 4 new girlfriends! But C had to fly back to China and live there for the next few months. We had no communication with her anymore.
I was looking onto our photos today and I just realize how different our personalities are but we get along well.

We were bonded by a foreign language we are all struggling to learn and master. The struggle is real but what's good about it, is the extended patience and understanding each and everyone gives to one another. 

So, yes, I prayed for a girlfriend, God gave me three to take care of and let bloom. 

PS: Lord, for a lifetime partner, I really, really need one. For sure, having one will be a challenge in itself. I look forward for a friend-turned-bestfriend-turned-boyfriend-turned-husband, I pray only for one. The waiting continues. 


Saturday was a good break from the normal, calm and lonely Saturday evenings.

After work, Ms. E and I walked our way to the city downtown because of this year's big event in the city: EREKOCHA FESTIVAL.

I haven't done any research about the it but it seems like that every city has it's own celebrated events with streetdancing, colorful parades and food carts everywhere, others even have fireworks. The city's main road is closed for the whole afternoon until around 10pm in the evening.

It's the first time I had seen the city full of people!

I had also seen Taiko-- the traditional Japanese drumming style. It's a rhythm that is very easy to listen to and when exposed to for a long time, it can be quite relaxing.

I met with Ayumi-chan's family and they invited me for dinner at an izakaya near their house. Much as I wanted to stay a little longer, I had to go home coz I got booked classes for the night. Which is convenient and also a little sad coz I was really getting cozy hanging out with this family. Convenient because I don't get to feel alone on a Saturday night and a little bit sad coz I had to go home and work.

After work, I decided to go out again and grab a glass of beer at my one and only hangout bar. Past 12 midnight, it is still surprisingly full of people, three of whom are familiar to me. So, I got to say Hi and got a few hugs also. Also, the 2 Swiss guys I met a couple weekends ago, were also there! So, we got to exchange Hi's and I got to introduced Matthias to the people I know at the bar. Marco was very busy playing billiards. My girl friends left and I was alone with the guys. Matthias was kind enough to sit and chat with me. They were bouncing to another bar and they asked if I wanna come, but I just ordered a glass of beer, so I said, I am not sure... He said, I can follow them there. I said, I'd probably go home after that glass of beer and so I'll just see them around hopefully before they leave town to go back to Switzerland.

Then, I went home. In a lighter note this time. Hit the shower. Sleep.

Sunday morning came with the usual video call from fambam back home. My two cousins slept over at house and so, the conversations were louder than normal and for the first time, Papa didn't ask what I will do today, but I still told them anyway.

My life is simple, filled with a loving family, good friends and kind strangers. I am grateful.
I am celebrating my own festival of connectedness.

What is one thing that you take with you everywhere?

365 QOTD

What is one thing that you take with you everywhere?

My wallet. My yellow gold color synthetic wallet.
It has my residence card that I should have with me all the time. My passport, my cash card and house keycard.

How did you make a difference in the world today?

365 QOTD

How did you make a difference in the world today?


Well, this one is not today, but can I make it count?

a.   I'm not really sure if the little amount of money I send to my friend to support Lumad kids in the southern part of the Philippines is really making any difference. But still, I hope it does. For one, my friend keeps organizing outreach programs for the kids and other activities so they can learn and be entertained.

I hope it does.

Now, this one.....

b.  Earlier this morning, I sort of made a rant post about a vice mayor of the city where I used to teach on one of the biggest school in the PH, because she didn't cancel the classes eventhough its very obvious that it has been raining very hard and most areas in the Metro Manila are flooded.

The post got shared 21 times. That is already a record for me coz I really don't post a lot. I tried to be calm when I was writing that letter just so it will appear offensive nor foul against anybody. I just really wanted her to understand my point of view.

So, this is the post:

It is good that you have considered the extent of reading progress and capacity of our dear students.
You have also mentioned that DISASTER RISK REDUCTION is the priority of the local government you are under.
Have you ever realized that RISKING A DAY of CLASS SUSPENSION might save LIVES?
Reading isn't something just sharpened in school. It is practiced even outside school. Moreso, in their own homes.
Good that you expected that you will bashed for making such decision. Also, just to be clear, YOU DIDN'T RISK YOUR CAREER, YOU RISKED THE LIVES OF EVERY CHILD WHO WILL GO TO SCHOOL BECAUSE YOU SAID SO.
A day of suspension is worth lives, not just abilities.
You could have given yourself that good night sleep you felt you deserve and you could have given those parents chances to bond with their children and the teachers some time to rest and everybody a chance to look after their own safety.

Actually, I am not sure if this is kindness but I think, it, getting shared a few times, means there are a few people who share the same sentiment and I became the words for their own rant. LOL.

I can only hope and pray that any kindness and good things I wish for myself and others can make a difference to this world. I can only hope for it.......

Who did you eat dinner with?

365 QOTD

Who did you eat dinner with?

Tonight, I ate dinner with Ayumi-chan.

After shopping with her mom, I offered to "babysit" her. She and her husband needs to practice for an upcoming dance competition. With the recent death of her mother-in-law, there was no one to look after Ayumi-chan, while they were away in business or competition.

Good thing I still have some food left on the fridge. While watching TV, I gave her ice cream topped with coffee jelly then a glass of milk. Then, I continued to iron work clothes while waiting for the rice to cook. I asked if she is okay with fish and so, we had fried fish and rice for dinner. Last stop was onsen.

The highlight of the night came when on our way home from onsen. She asked who I eat meals every day. I said, I always eat alone coz I live alone and that tonight was different and fun coz she was there. She said that she also had fun staying at my house.

It was a good change from the usual dinners I have. It was very simple yet sweet. We could have opted to go to a nearby restaurant but when I asked her if she wants to eat whatever I have in the fridge, that had made all the difference. It was nice evening.

For the meantime, on regular days, I'll stick with the solo flight meals.

5 iN 5

I signed up to this cool 5-in-5 by itchifingers whom I had linked with through Tomoko who I had found through  Cher Jo. 

The mechanics is very simple......  choose a place where you can take photos and take pictures as many as you can in 5 minutes then choose the best 5 shots you got and share it to the world. It has to be posted on or before the 25th of the month.

So, this month is my first time to participate and I decided to let you have a sneak peak of what's inside my little space........

Shots taken by an Asus Zenfone First Generation.

THE WALL. I put hearts so I won't forget LOVE. 
TABLE STAPLE. I like fancy pens with fine print. And Yes, with Hello Kitty, too! 
THE BELT. The one and only I got. Unless otherwise the dress or skirt I buy has a belt in the set. 

THE LIGHT. I rarely had it open actually. Just when I have online classes and I need to use the videocam.

THIS IS ME. No matter how I try to organize and tie and limit myself, I am still a little bit chaotic inside and outside. Please bear with me. 

posted from Bloggeroid

What is stopping you?

365 QOTD

What is stopping you?

Hmmm.. Good question.

From dreaming?
Nothing. That one is for free.

From working on dreams?
The fear of the unknown.
Sometimes, being rejected for a number of times, makes me re-consider my options. The pain of rejections is just something very difficult to handle and to forget. It takes a lot of effort to pursue a dream knowing that the chances of rejection is very high. But rather I'd rather try then get hurt or rejected than having that regretful feeling.

From buying that sneakers?
I don't have money. Or let's just have I have other priorities and I still have functionally, wearable sneakers.

From waking up early?
I sleep late and I am lazy. I know... Gotta pick up my butt and remind myself of my unfathomable dreams.

From praying for the ONE?
I don't have someone to call my own as of now. The search goes on until I can finally say I am home. No matter what happens, I still pray that one day, after all my small attempts of trying this world to be a better place, I will go home to someone I can call my own.

How busy was your day today?

365 QOTD

How busy was your day today?

Hmmm.. Work-wise, it wasn't so busy. I tried to busy myself with revamping the plan for the Aug. 19th's Read Aloud Event.

I am thinking of a total revamp from the original plan and additional craft activities for the day. It had been awhile since I had prepared for a storytelling activity. And it's one of my favorite parts of teaching! Overacting is never overrated. Of course, I also love conducting science experiments and collaborative learning.

I also did some paperwork for my online banking request from my local bank in PH. I had sent them a very lengthy e-mail 2 days ago and I had just received their response and instructions to proceed with the request. Hopefully, this gets done while I still here so this is one of my to-do list when I get to for holiday on January. I don't wanna spend my first week of 2018 chasing offices for my documents, transactions and licenses. My biggest regret really was that I didn't renew my driver's license before I left. That would have been a major dealbreaker with my stay here. But, of course, there is always a time for everything. It will all just fall into its proper places.

What I looked forward to was the dinner with my Japanese friends! I've met them through the English Cafe I use to attend on Wednesdays if I have time. But tonight, I had to meet them after work hours. We went to this little yakitori place downtown. The place was a typical small-scale shop where people sit in bar stools and the cook/shopkeeper cooks the food in front of the patrons.

I like being around them coz they are fun and light-hearted. They are also very generous with information about Japanese lifestyles and trivias. So, I get to learn a lot while enjoying their company.

Ended the day with watching the latest GOT Season 7 episode. The opening scene was a total badass one. So, bring all those spoilers on!

Adulting is Hard

365 QOTD
Did you act your age today?

For most part, I think, I did.

I woke up early and cooked a decent breakfast. Went to the last day of the Japanese class. Just too bad that I wasn't able to attend the Graduation Ceremony (frown)

Still, it was some sort of accomplishment. Plus, I really learned a lot from it. It is now a matter of courage of applying it to my daily conversations.

I tried to prepare something more interactive and interesting for each class that I had today. Time flew so fast (happy)

I think I flunk of the money management thing as always. I forgot to withdraw funds for our gift for our Sensei. Then, when I already had the money, I implusively bought something at Daiso--- a cute bento box, a lunch box cloth and garters. Haayst.
I also forgot to pay my Leonet service. I was actually afraid that they might have disconnected my service as of today. So far, it is still working. (omg) Internet is Life. Please spare me your mercy.

Contemplating about my current financial situation took most of my concentration while eating ice cream on lunch break. I really am an impulsive buyer, that's why I need to make sure that I get to secure my savings for long term accumulation of assets. I grew up having not so much and almost begging for whatever others can give, I don't wanna go back to those moments and I want my parents to enjoy their adulthood too. So, now, how to I prevent myself from buying things I don't really need? ----- I need to keep the funds where I will have second thoughts getting into.

Hayst, Adulting is hard.
Why was I chosen to be one?

Nothing Extraordinary Today.

Today is definitely one for the books! Not because extraordinary things happened but just because it was an ordinary day with ordinary events but extraordinary experience and reflections for me.

I am still not successful in getting up from bed early, though I woke up as early as 7am. I stayed in bed until 9am since I don't go to the conversation classes anymore, I made a quick morning trip to the library to study(?) , more of like trying to practice writing a few kanji characters, then didn't prepare to go out until 11am to meet my friends.

I had always wanted to visit the museums around and so today, we agreed to visit the Miyazaki Science Center.

A modern science museum designed for kids and wannabe kids, there are really a lot of learning points inside. Most of the exhibitions had English translations and can be understood. My favorite is the exhibition of the different sources of renewable energy!

After that, I had time for my favorite chore: the laundry.

Then, I asked Mr. Y and Ms. Y if they will go to the English Cafe, coz if they will, I might as well go and have a catch up with them. It had became an interesting night coz apart from catching up with Mr. Y, I have met a young lad who has so much passion for computer programming.

Mr. Y said that if I am free, I can come to Jenga night.

Tita G said that we might go to onsen that night and so I said that I will just be at downtown and she can pick me up from there. But she cancelled and so I had the chance to come to Jenga Night!

At first, I wasn't sure if coming to Jenga was a good decision because it was roundtable discussion for Japanese people. It was their chance to speak about certain topics without hesitation about the topic. I felt that I had gone a bit overboard about expressing my thoughts and opinions at some point. I forgot that I am not fluent in Japanese at all! The conversation flowed to a more lighter topics of travelling and hitchhiking until it was time to call it a night.

I felt relieved that the host said, "Please come again." Next time, I will be more careful with expressions and sharing of ideas. Also, I will try to speak more Japanese eventhough it is full of mistakes. I will be more sensitive about my opinions and make sure that I try to keep my questions within the topic.

I'd rather practice my Japanese in conversations like this than in a bar.

I learned so much today, reconnected with friends and met amazing people too.

Today, was definitely a good day.


365 QOTD
Who inspires you?

I am inspired by so many people:
1. My family, I always want to be able to provide for my family.
2. friends who work for the government, for it is very hard to keep an upright moral while working for the government
3. people who always wanted to make the world a better place.


Act Like One

To all teachers who claim to be real teachers but not really acting like real ones:

It's not how much knowledge you can impart to your students.

It's all about helping them build their confidence that they can learn and do anything they want in life.

When they come to you to learn, it's not all about you and how much you know.

It's all about them and their potentials.

So, don't ask if they understand,
but ask: What have you understood?

Back Online

I decided to go back to my online teaching job!

Woohoo! Crazy as it may seem, it is something that can keep me occupied and busy and probably build connections with over time.

With a pay a little more than 400 yen per hour, I think this is a good way to keep myself busy and entertained and avoid thinking too much. Plus, I get to have little savings in my peso bank account seriously untouched until I am back home for holiday.

An hour a day, 7 days a week, with almost 5 months to go, I think I would have decent money for daily coffee at Starbucks for a 2-week vacation. Naah.. Probably would do a Mystery Manila Challenge with my sibs.

Can't wait for holiday! 5 months to go!

Ooh life, Ooh day.

I am thinking of skipping tonight's nikki entry but here I go, thumbing away.

The days have been unfriendly because of this massive headache I keep experiencing. It could be because of the weather, the time of the month or just being frustrated with making attempts to make some financial transactions. Add to that the thunderstorm and thunders and heavy rains. I survived. I survived but can't really say, "keep bringin 'em on." I need time to reenergize.

10 kanjis every morning. That's my personal challenge which started last Thursday.

My Kobo e-reader has arrived and I have loaded it with some books I look forward to reading.

Ooh life. Ooh day.
No matter how shitty a day can be, it's a beautiful life if spent with the right people.

365 QOTD
A funny thing happened on the way to _____________.

...... on the way to the pantry. Ms. E squeezed on cheel of my butt and I screamed so loud.

Never had luck

I had my Saturday night planned to be as usual solo-binge-watching then reading a few blogs I follow then writing this nikki entry.

But the universe had another plan. On my way home, Tita G texted me and said that she prepared Pork Stew for dinner and that she is bringing it to my place so we can have dinner.

We had dinner picnic style and then, she asked if I can mix Kiwi Sour, so Kiwi Sour it was!

Dinner came and dinner finished. It's time to be alone again.

My life is quite unorganized. I used to have a routine, but now it is quite a mess. A good source of distraction but still my system longs for that routinary order of living.

Ms. E jokingly told me that she wrote on the tanzaku that I get to have a lovelife so my life won't be boring. Lol. I thought she was joking but she pointed me the tanzaku and she did write what she said. Bwahaha.

I appreciate the urgency that people around me has been putting on me but I've long given up on the idea. Maktub. Whatever is written, it is written.

For now, Im going to bed in my favorite undies, a little  tipsy and a just a little bit of every thing else.

Good night world, we will conquer tomorrow.

365 QOTD
Have you played the lottery?
Nope. No luck on it. Never had luck on gambling.

DUROG days ahead.

I skipped breakfast today. Unusual. I just had coffee latte before going to Japanese class and a sandwich for lunch.

Tita G and I went shopping after lunch til 3pm. It was my first time to visit that GU Branch in Miyazaki City. Since I am not really a fashion addict, I usually just go shopping during SALE days. I got myself a pair of pants, a statement shirt, a blouse for work and a white blouse for my wannabe pabebe days ahead. Counter payment is automated. Just put everything in a basket, put the basket inside a small cabinet underneath the cashier's booth and then, on the screen in front of you, all the purchases will appear with the total amount, then on the left side, there is a slot where you put money for payment. Then, take the basket out, go to another table nearby and put the stuff in a plastic bag then all done. 

After that, I went home and passed by the Lawson store near my home coz I saw my friend's car, so I thought he is on duty and I just wanna drop by and say Hi. But he wasn't at the counter. So, I didn't get to say Hi.

Though it's a little late, I did the laundry and cleaned the kitchen and the toilet. Decluttered. Decluttered. Still, there is clutter.

I got caught up with How To Get Away with Murder Season 3 and it's becoming more unpredictable and more violent for me. 

Also, this is one of those days I wish I have a Japanese boyfriend! I am having a hard time making bank transactions and applying for a debit card. I just need  debit card. Not a credit card. As per online forums, one can get a debit card via Rakuten Bank just by applying online. Well, the application is in Japanese! Luckily, a new friend offered to help me out with it to do the translation and step by step process however, since I am not really comfortable of giving other inconvenience, as much as possible, I tried to figure out most of it but ended up reaching out. Still, I tried doing it my way of screencaptures and translations by Google Translate and so I ended up with a very bad headache again. 

My Kobo e-reader is on it's way! I am so looking forward to filling it up with books I can never really read. LOL.

I am ending this day on a happy note coz my favorite blogger is back online! Cher Jo of Metaphorically Speaking is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Back to work tomorrow with lots of campaign activities on the side, which means, DUROG days ahead. 

365 QOTD 
Who did you text today?
No one. I actually miss having a textmate. 

Monthly Suffering

Headache, body ache and how I long to submerge myself in a tub full of warm water but I can coz it's red alert day.
Where is justice? Where is peace?

Tried opening my very first email address and it is still working with more than 10k emails on it. Took me a couple of hours to clean up the inbox. Woohoo. How nice to see a clean inbox and reading old emails to my father and my cousin. I was such a jejemon. Earth, eat me alive.

Almost halfway ready with the materials for a big activity on the 17th. I can't wait for that day to be over. I swore that I won't eat pancakes until that day is over.

To commemorate the Tanabata Story, as a Japanese custom, I asked one of my students to translate my wish to Japanese and write it also in a tanzaku. 

My wish is: That I may always have wisdom in every decision I make. 

I signed it with my name written in Katakana and hung it at the bamboo tree outside our office.

My digital weighing scale is giving me a reading that is 3 kilograms lighter than what I know of my current weight. F&^* you weighing scale! So, even things lie, not just humans. Whatever happened to honesty?! 

I keep buying stuff that I think I would use for studying but I never really sit down and study, instead I keep scrolling in social media. Whatever happened to priorities and responsible adulthood? 

On my last class, the last question for the student was, What is the happiest moment in your life?
She answered that it was the day her son was born. Then, on the Shima no Sensei Jdrama series I am watching, in episode 4, the protagonist also mentioned that the happiest moment of her life was when she gave birth to her daughter in the series. Both are reminders that one of the most significant life in a woman is to become a mother. My biological clock maybe ticking but if ever, will I ever be a good mother?

And I am asking myself about that while I am still suffering with dysmenorrhea and headache.

I tried popping 2 tabs of those OTC meds they have here in Japan, but it didn't have any effect at all.
Then, I remembered that my anti-inflammatory prescription back in PH was already Meloxicam 15mg.

Thank goodness tomorrow is rest day.

365 QOTD
What movie are you looking forward to?

Foreigner. The one with Jackie Chan and Pierce Brosnan on it. 

Tuesday Complaint List

1. It's the time of the month. The sudden gush. Ugh.
2. I bought another 100 board lot stocks for a renewable energy company. That was suppose to be for a t-shirt at Uniqlo!
3. It's raining. But why is it still hot in Miyazaki?!
4. I want root beer. Why is there no rootbeer anywhere at the grocery? Rootbeer with vanilla ice cream on top. Yes, in my imagination, it must be heaven.
5. Body pains. Can I just stay in bed all day? Or where can I get affordable massage here? Why is everything so expensive?!
6. Based on a certain survey, my annual salary here in Japan is still below minimum. Why did I even move here? LOL. Oopps. Lemme double check if this is really supposed to be in this list.
7. I think I slept around 4am. So, please dont mess with me, I know Kung Fu.

It's just 12:45 PM, so the rest are to follow. LOL.

No Such Perfect Day

Today started with a Sunday-before-going-to-church video call from home, with Papa asking what will be my itinerary for the day.

Though my sibs were already aware of my would-be whereabouts, they didn't tell Papa until he asked me about it. As always, he wanted me to find a good church where I can do fellowship with and learn the language.

The day started smoothly. Breakfast was cereal, to which Mama was not happy about. Then a pro-longed video chat until we all realized that its time for them to leave for church and for me to pack up my stuff for the day. But before that, I also had a conversation with Mr. L whom I met coz he started reading my blog. We were supposed to have a video chat a few weeks ago, I think, however, there seem to had been a lack of understanding how technology works. LOL. But, all good. I guess, this time, we had started at the right foot.

In a hurry, I just stuffed my bag with things I thought I would need, like extra shirts and a pair of slippers, sunblock lotion, powerbank, and a book. Then, I went to see my kind friends who invited me to go to Aoshima. They are sibs-- a boy and a girl- Mr. Y and Ms. C. Though I speak very poor Nihonggo and she struggles with her English, Ms. C and I seem to get along pretty well. She is very accommodating and hospitable. She makes sure that I feel comfortable with them, asking about things that may interest me and makes sure that I have fun. Same with her brother, Mr. Y. He has been very helpful for me and Ms. C get connected. He translates both ways and encourages both me and Ms. C to speak both languages vice versa.

I am very grateful that I bumped into them last Sunday and I do look forward to spending more fun days with them coz I get to learn a lot and also share a lot of whatever I know in terms of language exchange. They also remind me that life is good coz we have wonderful siblings-- whom we have fights, misunderstandings, arguments and share more good things than the bad things.

I also got to meet, their friend, Natsumi--she helped me fill out my form at the bouldering gym and I think she also took pictures of us while we were having fun at the wall climbing activity earlier ;)

We had lunch at Bondi Cafe, then they did business for another hour and then we headed to the bouldering camp for another couple of hours of challenge and cheers.

When I arrived at my place, I just removed my bag, took off my shirt and rolled on the floor then fell asleep. When I woke up, I remember that I have to go to the post office to pick up an item and then go to the library to return some books. Then, headed to the grocery for the week's supply.

I planned to prep food for the week however I noticed that I still have food in the fridge that needs to be consumed first so as not to be wasted. I ought to stick to my budget if I want to not feel guilty about spending on Sundays. If I keep myself from buying cooked meals on work days, I get to have enough money to spend for the weekend without feeling guilty that I had to touch my emergency funds.

Then, the not-so good news came while having dinner. Nanay Inday passed away today. She has been battling diabetes along with its complications, had been in and out of the hospital and under severe medication since early last year. It was a struggle to see. I grew up knowing that she was really a grandmother to me, to all of us. Though not related by blood, we had shared many good memories with her and her family.

I guess, a day can't really be describe as perfect if its just filled with happy stories. There is no such perfect day.

But today was one GOOD day with so many things to be grateful for-- the gift of friends, family, life and surprises.

365 QOTD
Who was the last person you saw today?

The last person I saw today was my sister, Bebz. She made a quick video call to say good night.

It's time for her to go.

Today is a somersault of emotions.

I keep waking up very early in the morning and have difficulty getting up in bed, recently. What is wrong with me?

Since today is day off, I was suppose to go to Conversation class with my friends but that didn't happen. I decided to just meet them for lunch and go to another appointment at 3pm. I was just planning to buy an electric fan coz I can't afford to keep using the AC, too much for daily consumption. Then, Ms. L told me that I should not bother to go buy one coz she will just give me one of their old ones that isn't being used at home. Lucky me! That saves me almost 5000 yen on my budget.

Later that day, I went to meet another friend from the university to catch up. It went well. I don't know when is the next one since we never really got to have matched schedules.

Then, as usual, window shopping at the mall that never really ends up as just window shopping. I got myself a discounted silver ring and a pair of earrings. I saw a ring I liked that fits my ring finger, it would have been nice in there. But I had decided to just stop wearing a ring on a my ring finger coz it my sent a wrong signal to the universe that I am already committed and thus, nobody approaches me anymore. Instead, I got myself a ring that fits my middle finger. I left the building with those and minced garlic in a bottle and a can of tropical fruits. Coz, really, I can't go out of the mall without buying anything. I was supposed to check out laptops and mobile phone at nearby electronic shop but I totally forgot about it since I got stuck choosing a ring. Hayst.

Dinner. Dinner. I had no dinner plans which means, I might just end up with a sandwich and a Kiwi Sour mix but Tita G called up and asked about dinner plans. She wanted to meet up at McDo. I agreed and said that I will just drop off my stuff and meet her there.

As I was walking my way up the stairs to my unit, I received two messages from my friends in Manila about our common friend, passing away just a few hours ago. I can't believe what I just read. She just posted a few throwbacks a few days ago. Last night, I just remembered some of our gatherings as I browse old photos. I took a deep breath and then, just smiled. I guess, its her time to rest. Final rest. After two kindey transplants and a pacemaker support for two years, it's time for her to go. I will always remember her as a jolly Tita I and a very optimistic person at that.

Tomorrow, Tita G asked if I want to come for an early driving tour to Tsuno, so I have to wake up very early and prepare my stuff since I still have to work at 10am. It will be an early countryside roadtrip, I just can't say no to. HEHEHE.

Alarm set, bag packed, breakfast ready. Tomorrow is another day.

365 QOTD
The last thing I bought myself was _________________.

The last thing I bought myself was a pair of silver earrings and a ring.

So, what will I write about today?

I woke up at 9am. Slowly worked my way into the day, had an internal battle about attending the Japanese class, in the end, I still did go to it(happy laugh). Good job to that, Self.

Two classes today, lesser vids watched in between. Booo...

Free dinner courtesy of Tita G! Yey!

Eventhough I sleep late, I keep waking up at around 5 or 6 am and I have struggle getting back to sleep. I keep dreaming of the same person, too.

Six months and I always tell myself that I still have many things to learn. Made me think if within that span of six months, had I learn something? I probably did  but since I am naturally stubborn, I slip back to being that every now and then. So, I need constant reminder.

I dont know about tomorrow, but I know that God holds my hand.

365 QOTD
Were you alone today?
Nope. I was different bunch of people today who made me feel I belong and I matter. It was a good day.

Enough with the rant.

Destiny is a reward given to those who never stop believing. -Boku, Unmei No Hito Desu

I finally had the time to watch the last episode tonight. And that line, though it was just a translation via jimaku, it really resonated on me.

How would I describe work today? It would have been truly amazing until the final hour. Got one class and completed two lesson plans, I felt that it was productive day. Add to that the number of videos I had watched while lurking on social media. So productive, eh. Until, the bad news arrived. The management wanted us to conduct a lesson designed for elementary teachers. It was good idea, it was really something I am excited about coz it had always been my dream to be a teacher-trainer. If there is any good place to start with, it would be this event. But it entails a lot of work-- needs assessment, consultations, design of the program, proofreading of the lesson plans and the execution itself. I had pictured it to be something tedious but it would all be worth the effort, for sure.

But that is not how the management want it to be. They just want it to happen. Have the activities patterned from another branch's output, which honestly, is a total piece of s*&^. Designed by someone who really had no concern about what these teachers really need and what learned differently.

As someone who is an advocate of quality and equality in terms of education, I wanted to give my best for these clients, but that is not going to happen in a month's time of preparation. Nor will it be possible in a couple of months. We need all the time and resources we can gather to start with. I was looking into a Focus Group Discussion first to identify their struggles and want they want to learn, a basic needs assessment, then go from there. But it seems, that they don't even want to reach out to them, they just want us to dive into an ocean of problems. I may have been an English teacher to a Japanese school but that doesn't give me enough credibility to just blunder about what they need to do to be effective teachers. We need to know where they are coming from. Not just assume what they need. Enough with the rant.

In another news, I seem to have a better emotional state lately in terms of how I deal with my hormonal imbalance and homesickness. My self deserve a tap on the shoulder, Good job, self! Half year of staying away from my comfort zones and I continually discover a lot of things about myself, formulate bigger dreams and still challenge myself as to how far I can go.

Tomorrow is another day, and I am liking this day-to-day reflections that I write. Dear Kat, let's look back to these journal entries a few years from now.

365 QOTD
Q: What was in your mailbox today?
A: It was empty ;(

Q: Today, I was so ____________________.
A: Today was so productive. LOL.

This is Not True. LOL.

Mishy mushy and cheesy

Ms. E told me that I should hurry up and do the first move. To which I asked, how is that possible?

She loves making fun of my being single and my failed dating attempts. Whenever she asks me what I am looking for in a guy, I always tell her that I dont know. But the truth is, I really know what type of guy I like. Someone who exists only in films or drama series. Someone brave enough to declare his love and affection. Someone who is consistent, honest and faithful. Someone non-existent as others would say.

I am not the kind who would really do the first move when I like someone but when someone I like makes a move, I could easily give into temptations, I tell you. I had also learned to not speculate kindness to be something else. I am continually learning not to expect anything in return for my own unselfish deeds as well. And even though I may show submissiveness, I am not the type who would initiate contact. I would like to be approached moreso courted or at least given enough attention. No matter how head over heels I am about someone, if that guy dont reach out to me first, I would never initiate contact. And that would go on until I have clear understanding that we are in mutual respect of each other, making me comfortable to reach out and ask for favor or just wanna be mishy mushy and cheesy.


If it happens that I reach out to someone who I know I have a vague intimate or unlabeled relationship with, I am on a drunken dialling mode.
Whoever that maybe, I hope he gets flattered coz I dialled his number if I ever get to dial any. Lol.

Bumpin' Sunday.

Morning started with the ritual video call for breakfast with family. Papa was extra cheerful talking about his being officially a recipient of pension as a retired citizen. I was still lazily lying in bed when they said goodbye to go on with the Sunday church activities.

I decided to get up and slowly do the usual day off duties like the laundry and the dishes. I cooked yakisoba for lunch and packed my bag to pick up a package in the post office and then headed to the library. In the library, I tried to study as usual, giving myself breaks in between to read something else.

Ms.E suddenly sent me a photo of her having a yakiniku party at the comfort of her home and invited me to join her. Food! Who am I to say no to food?! In 20 minutes, I am home and traded my yakisoba and bottle of cider soda for a bunch of grilled pork, cabbage and bell peppers. Getting luckier, she gave me cheese desserts too!

I took a nap and realized that I had bills to pay so I had no choice but to go out again, withdrew funds, paid bills and decided to go get some groceries.

How lucky can I get that I bumped into another friend on my way home, Mr.Y and his sister Ms. C. He invited me for dinner at their humbled abode. I feel so elated and grateful that they welcomed me at their flat coz it isn't usual for a typical Japanese family to have new people in their homes.

Dinner was wonderful with the introduction of the Yona Yona Ale and ending with warm tea.

I even got an invite for a Sunday trip to Aoshima and a bouldering activity!

My heart is full with so much joy and gratefulness as these little things and actions come together to make me realize how blessed I am.

The challenge is to practice more Japanese so I can freely and heartfully express my gratefulness to these wonderful local people who make my stay abroad a great story.

365 QOTD
Were you "good" or "bad" today?

I tried to be good today but I fell short and I look forward to do more good tomorrow.

Unplanned Pizza Night

So far, I am enjoying writing about the detailed day-to-day events of my life. I realized that when I started doing this, I was on a low point and had been writing all about things that are sad and lonely. I guess, hormonal imbalance can really tip me off. It is difficult to deal with, but hey, there are lot of good things going on with my life.

Saturday is usually a busy day at work. Today was nothing different from that. However, the torrential rains the whole day and early evening, made it a more F$^$$d up night. Going home seemed to be next to impossible that I even thought that of hailing a cab just so I can go home as soon as I can. But Ms.E insisted that we just take a walk home. So we did. In the middle of the walkathon, the rain got stronger and halfway through, we were drenched in rain like ducks in a pond. The rain wasn't getting any weaker as we got nearer our home.

I told myself, I would order that pizza and I would grab a bottle of wine at the grocery store tonight, no matter how expensive it may be.

When I got home I was still contemplating if I still wanna order pizza coz it was really expensive and I can't really eat all of it. Tita G then sent a message and asked about dinner plans, so I told her that I wanted pizza but it was expensive. I asked if she want pizza, to which she said, "go!"

An unplanned Pizza Night at my place with Ms. E and Tita G!

Later on, Ms. E and I decided to go to Donki for a late night shopping spree. I got myself a blender, a soap, a deep cleansing oil and a facial mist.

Lately, I noticed with myself that I have been sort of obsessing with beauty products. From effective dry shampoos to moisturizer and electric facial cleanser and other beauty regimen! Ayayayayay!

365 QOTD

June 24
Q: Without looking at the previous year's entry first, sign your name.
A: No change in my name. Errr.. And I don't see that coming soon.
June 25
Q: What is your most prized possession?
A: My family. I have no other wealth but my family. I am here because of them, my dreams, some of them maybe a little selfish, but most of my dreams, I want to share with them. 

But at the end of the day....

I have been getting up from bed around 9am for the past consecutive days. That is a very bad sign.

I haven't been attending the Wednesday schedule of the Japanese conversation classes also. Wednesday, my day off, I really had no fixed schedule as to how my day off would go. Even laundry is not on the list.

Then, Tyas-san, my Indonesian friend, called and said that she would drop by and drop off the food she prepared for our lunch. With that, I had chosen to get up and dress up so we can go to the class together.

It was good. I sat down with two new students, both pretty Korean girls who were very jolly and fun to talk to. One Happy Point to start my not-so-planned Wednesday.

After that, my friends-Lea, Desiree and Tyas- spent the afternoon at my flat. I really had fun entertaining them and having them mess around my house. It is good to hear laughter and giggles in it. Then, we went to the mall for some shopping and checking out of make up and other stuff. After that, a quick stop at Mister Donut for coffee. Two Happy Points now.

We parted ways and I decided to drop by the bank and ask  if I can have a debit card-- sort of a prepaid Mastercard/Visa tied up to my savings account so I use it for online shopping and buying plane tickets. They said that offer only credit cards and I need to research myself if I can use my cash card for online transactions. Good heavens! Working for the customer service section of a famous bank for a while before, I find it weird that they need to tell me to research for myself if I can use my card for specific transactions, because they should be able to tell me that. But no mad feelings. It is a happy day as it is.

I just decided to take a walk around Tsutaya bookstore to clear my head and my mood. While doing that, an acquaintance messaged me and asked if I will go to the English cafe. Well, since I am available for that evening, I said, "Sure, see you there!"

The cafe was full of English conversations enthusiasts and we had to use another table for the chat. Which good, coz after a few minutes, 3 pretty girls and an older guy joined our table. Since the conversations went really well and we were still all having a good time, we decided to take a stop at a small shop for yakitori and dinner. This time, it was my chance to practice my Nihonggo which is still very, very bad. LOL. But they have been very supportive and I got to learn a words that night. One of the new friends I have met that night goes mountain-climbing too! The other one frequents the bar where I usually go to and asked if we can go to the bar one weekend night! I also got an invitation to a kids' programming session, it would have been fun, only that it happens on a Saturday and I work Saturdays. I am also looking forward to attending a Japanese debate in the future! Three Happy Points for Wednesday it is!

The day had gone overwhelmingly great for me. Thank you, Universe!

But at the end of the day, I still look forward to share my stories and the time with people I really care about, like my family back home in the PH. Then, hopefully, some day, with a significant other I can call my own.