Dahil Sabado Ngayong Gabi.

8:50 PM

Hindi ko na maalala kung bakit Saturdaythoughts ang pangalan ng blog ko. Hindi ko na din alam kung bakit Saturday/Sabado ang pinili kong araw para sa pangalan ng blog na ito.

Dahil Saturday ngayon (6.28.2014), hahayaan kong mag-flow ang aking mga muni-muni sa buhay.

1. Kakatapos ko lang mag-laba! Sa ngayon, pinaninindigan ko pa din ito bilang aking stressbuster.

2. Nag-grocery kami ni housemate for our kitchen supply for the next two weeks. Na-realize ko lang, dapat pala Wednesday kami mag-grocey, mas maraming free taste. Mas marami ding good deals. Swak naman kami sa budget, abonado lang ng 75 cents! Woohoo!

3. Panahon na naman ng santol! Gusto kong makakain ng ginataang santol. Huhu. Sana sipagin akong magluto nun. Lels.

4. Andami kong pictures ng mga peborit kids ko sa phone ko. Lagi kong pinapakita sa Mama ko. Kinukwento ko yung mga lolo at lola na nagbabantay at nagsusundo sa mga apo nila sa skul. Tinanong ko si mama kung gusto nya ding gawin yon, sabi naman nya, kapag andyan na, hindi naman na yun ma-hihindi-an. Hihihi. Excited na ko makita silang magka-apo :)

5. Dati gusto ko lang magka-baby, walang asawa. Parang feeling ko less hassle, and all. Pero simula nung nagturo ako, nakita ko ang kahalagahan ng isang buong at maayos na pamilya. Ang selfish ko pala. Pero nakita ko din ang struggles ng pagpapanatili ng isang maayos na pamilya-- ang hirap pala.

6. Pinakamahirap kalaban ang sarili--ang sariling katamaran.

7. Na-discover ko na ok na ok sakin ang pagpapatugtog ng instrumental relaxing tuwing hapon. Sabayan ng green tea. Narerelieve ang utak ko at natatapos ko ang mga gawain na itinalaga ko para sa araw na yun. Sa susunod nga makabili ng tea candles at jasmine oil para maging mala-spa na ang kwarto ko. Masahista na lang ang kulang! :P

8. Kelangan ko na ayusin ang corkboards ko. Medyo marami nang nagyari, medyo marami na kong plano sa buhay.

9. Nung Sunday, sabi sa preaching, sa issue ng pagiging offended, ang dapat pala mag-sorry ay yung taong na-offend, at hindi yung naka-offend. Kasi nga naman, hindi naman intentional ang pang-o-offend ng isang tao, unless hobby nya yun. Dahil alam kong may pagka-madaldal at taklesa ako, sa mga taong na-offend ko, at kasalukuyang na-o-offend ng aking presensya at ma-o-offend ng aking mga salita---you are all forgiven. Sorry din kung ma-offend nyo ako. Pero most likely, wapakels naman ako pag nagkataon.

10. Natuto ako. Tama naman palang magplano at tumingin nang matayog para sa future. Kasabay ng mga pangarap ay ang pagsusumikap sa ngayon. Every little thing counts. Every little thought is important. Malayo pa ko sa pangarap ko, mga ilang milya pa. Pero kembot lang.

11. Paborito kong kwento sa Adarna Books ang Kamatis ni Peles. Sabi kasi ng Hugo na Langgam kay Peles na Tipaklong, "Sa sipag at tyaga at konting banat ng buto, tutubo din ang mga kamatis mo." Lagi kong pinapaalala sa sarili ko yan lalo na pag tinatamad ako. Konting banat pa ng buto, magkaka-alindog din ako. Haha!

Oo. ganyan kagulo ang mundo ko. Saturday, kelangan ko na maayos ang mga gagawin at ituturo next week kasi bukas, Sunday, Hello Liliw!

9:22PM

Wala Kong Maisip na Title. Late na Kasi to.

Isang Araw Sa School

Habang nagpapabasa ako ng mga bata isa-isa sa may corridor kaninang umaga, napansin ko ang pagdating ng isang hindi katandaang lalaki, may bitbit na styrofoam sa kanang kamay, laman marahil ay pagkain. Suot nya ay long sleeve powder blue-colored polo shirt na halos ay dalawang size ang laki sa dapat ay size na bagay sa kanya. Naka-suot din ng napakaluwag na maong na pantalong kupas at puno ng mga patak ng pintura. Sa kabilang kamay naman ay isang di-kalakihang canvass bag na gawa sa sako, laman ay mga tools. Nakita ko kasi yung naka-usling ulo ng lagari kaya ipinagpalagay ko na karpentero siya. Inilapag ang kanyang bag sa may gilid ng corridor at tumapat sa pintuan ng isang classroom, lumabas ang isang batang babaeng, kahit nakatagilid ay naaninag ko ang ngiti. 

Humarap ang batang babae sa lalake, iniabot ng lalake ang baon sa batang babae. Di pa nakuntento, lumuhod ito sa harap ng bata upang magpantay ang kanilang paningin. Inayos ang kupasin, luma at gusot na uniporme ng babae, hindi ko marinig ang sinasabi ng lalakeng, ipinagpapalagay ko ay tatay ng batang babae. Hinahaplos ang magkabilang balikat ng bata. Marahil ang sinasabi nya, "Magpapakabait ka sa loob ha, anak. Mag-aral kang mabuti."

Tumayo na ulit ng tuwid ang lalake at ang batang babae ay pumasok na sa loob ng classroom. Tumaliko
d at kinuha ang kanyang mga gamit, dederecho na marahil sya sa kanyang trabaho. 

Ang batang babae ay kabilang sa tinatawag naming Non-Readers' Class. Isang buong section sila na tumungtong ng grade three pero walang muwang tungkol sa alpabeto, tunog at pagbabasa. Ang hirap gumawa ng strategy para sa kanila para ituro ang mga concepts na dapat nilang aralin mula sa pagbabasa.

Naisip ko nga rin, siguro yung tatay hindi rin marunong magbasa kaya ganun. Pero alam kong alam ng tatay na nasa pag-aaral ang magiging simula ng magandang kinabukasan ng kanyang anak. Minsan nga, gusto kong mag-sit-in sa class ng isang grade two teacher para malaman ko kung bakit may mga batang hindi pa rin nakakapagbasa pero nakakatuntong ng grade three. Marahil nga din siguro, slow learner yung bata kaya walang natutunan at hindi makasabay sa kanyang mga kaklase na kapareho ng edad. Hindi ko na alam.

Hindi ako ang Special Reading Teacher ng batang ito, pero hangad ko ay maabot nya goal naming makapagbasa ang buong section nila at makapagbasa rin sya para sa sarili nya at sa tatay nyang nagsusumikap na bigyan sya ng mas maayos na pamumuhay. 



Miracle in Cell No.7

Katatapos ko lang panoorin ang Miracle in Cell No.7 at hindi nga nagkamali ang hinuha ng aking housemate---iiyak ako nang todo-todo habang pinapanood ko ang movie. Iyak na hagulhol at di ko talaga napigilan. Maga ang mata ko hanggang kinabukasan. 

Pagdating sa pelikula, halos alam na nila kung gano karami ang magiging luha ko sa panonood. Kahit kasi simpleng mga scenes, ambilis pumatak ng luha ko. Minsan pa, kung kelan naisipan kong mag-eye-liner tsaka ko pa naisipang sumama at manood ng nakakaiyak na pelikula!

Dahil mahilig talaga ko sa spoilers, let me give you a background of the story: Ang kwento ay tungkol sa isang bilanggo na nahatulan ng parusang kamatayan dahil sa maling akusasyon ng pagpatay at panghahalay sa isang batang babae. Mentally-challenged at ang kanyang intellectual level ay pang six-year old, kapareho ng sa kanyang sariling anak na babae na sobrang mahal nya. Umamin sya sa kasalanang hindi nya ginawa, nakulong at nahatulan ng kamatayan. San ang nakakaiyak dun? Panoorin mo :P 

Noong Nakaraang Linggo

Tuwing Linggo na lang ako umuuwi sa bahay. Hindi na sleepover. Simba sa umaga, lunch date with family at ilang oras pa, uwi na rin ako sa QC. Ganyan na lang lagi. Nung isang linggo kasi, Saturday pa lang nasa bahay na ko at napapalibutan ng mga pusa naming sila Stranger, Jude, Sugar at ang pinaka-matandang si Why, di na matigil ang pag-bahin ko at magang-maga na ang mata ko dahil sa mga balahibo nila. Kumain pa ko ng manggang isinasaw sa bagoong isda na may sili. (Oha! Mahilig na ko kumain ng maanghang ngayon!)
Ayun, allergy attack it is! Iniiwasan ko uminom ng antihistamine kasi siguradong, matutulog lang ako.

Gusto ko magpicture kami ni papa magkasama, pero super KJ talaga sya! Pero tuwang-tuwa naman syang makita kaming nagpipicture lagi. Weird Papa,right? Pero ramdam ko ang tuwa nya tuwing nakikita nya kaming magkakasama at sisigaw ng "Group Hug!"

Bente-syete anyos na ko, pero kapag may problema ako, si Papa pa din ang instant superhero ko. 

Ito ay isang late post ng commemmoration ng Father's Day para sakin. After all, hindi naman talaga kelangan na tuwing nakatakdang araw lang tayo magbigay pugay sa mga tatay natin sa buhay.

Be Still

9:26 AM
Dear Kat,

I know that you have been enjoying your dates with me in the past few weeks. I really hope you are happy with it coz that’s what I always want you to be—to be happy.

I want you to know that you are doing a wonderful job with how you are managing your life. Starting small would definitely lead you to something bigger. So don’t you ever give up on it. Changing career had done you well. I know you would disagree with me on a lot of terms about it but I want to tell you that it really did you well. For one, it made you MORE grateful and faithful. It made you trust yourself that you can really do help in making change happen for the better. Another thing, it had taught you to be patient, I know how impatient you are and how you want to have things done “el pronto”. You also had the opportunity to meet wonderful people from everywhere. Get fascinated with their life stories and share common values in some ways.

I want to commend you for keeping up to date with your personal to-do-list. Cooking seems to be one of your new hobbies. Keep it up. Never get tired of trying something new. You might want to start that garden soon. I know you wanted a dog but it’s not really ideal at the moment.

I want you to learn to wait. In waiting you can also find peace if you choose it. It doesn’t have to be full of depression and comparison. In waiting, you can pray. In prayer, you just need to have faith.

I want you to realize that you should never ever compare yourself with anyone else because you are a completely totally different unique human being. Nobody can ever be like you. Stop feeling lowly compared to others because you never know what others are going through right now.

I know you have pictured yourself to be somebody in the future and it can really be frustrating when things are not going your way. That’s what you have been feeling, I know. I can feel it. Stop feeling frustrated and start focusing on the end goal. Remember what those self-help books had told you. Those readings are meant for practice not just for mere past time of reading.

As you plant seeds of knowledge on every child that comes into your classroom, remember that you are also building a future for yourself. Like the seed you planted on every child, your personal growth may take a little while to be seen. Every realization and every decision you make every day, will define what your future will be. Be patient. Be still.

That career, that dog, that house, that love-- it will all arrive—on it’s own perfect time. Just have a little faith. For now, just try to be that good person you want to be. I know it’s hard. But still, try. If you can’t be a good person today, there will always another day.

Be patient, Kat. That’s what you need to be at this point in your life.

Love,
Meow

9:57

While I am Waiting

8:37

Last night, I had finished reading again The Time Keeper by Mitch Albom, I read it again because, I feel the need to read it again. I’m glad I did.

I had always complained about the lack of time in everything I do. In everything I want to achieve. The more I take a look at time, the more I get frustrated with my life. Just like the two main characters in the book, Victor and Sarah, I complain about time. Why is too short. Why is it too fast. There are days that I wish I can stop time and rest for awhile and wake up with renewed strength and resume where I stopped without worrying about losing the time or there are moments that I feel like I don’t deserve the time and I wish I could just stop living. Especially on not-so-good days.

For the past few weeks, I had decided to focus on what I have and what I could do. Doing a checklist really made a great help in making things possible for me. My planner had become more functional this time. Not just a notebook to record everyone’s birthday, not just for meetings, but really did became a planner.

I plan my meals for the entire week, budget my allowance and had been doing a more responsible grocery shopping. Made a daily checklist of things to do and to buy. Checking those I had done. Not doing anything to those I had seemed to forgot. Waking up at 4am still seem to be a very heavy task but since I really wanna make this work for myself, I extended the wake up hour to 4:10 am. Because I still need to prepare my breakfast and baon which are both very essential to sustain me throughout the day. It is never easy to deal with more or less 350 kids in a day. Around 60 kids per class. 40 minutes per subject. I wonder what’s with this year’s batch. They are all so talkative! They also have this dementor-like power of draining me of my energy everytime I come to their class. Later on, I realized, the kids are just replicating the energy that I give out inside their classroom. So, I learned that even if they are so rowdy and so “kulit” inside, I need to keep this calm demeanor once I am in front of them. Because if I put my “Umbridge” face, they seem to revolt more. So, I put my more cute miming teacher look and they get calm. Hay, kiddies, you make me crazy!

Classroom situations are far more manageable this year. I had come to accept the reality that they are kids. I just have to discover the ways to appease them and to teach them. Of course, teach them to love learning in general because I can only be with them this year.

I had decided to take each day, one day at a time. I had stopped from thinking so much about the future yet I had been thinking of ways on how to get me to the future I want.

I am looking forward to that MBTI Career Personality test we will be taking soon and the career counseling sessions and eventually the mentoring.

I make it a point to go home every weekend, even just for a day. Being around my family lets me gain back the sanity I seem to lose every weekdays.

I also make it a point that before I leave for school, my bed is all made up. Lying in my bed is something I always look forward to every day. Hehehe. Especially  during those not-so-awesome days. It feels good to go home to a fixed bed and ready to be rolled on. With Tidibur,and Hello Kitkit waiting to be hugged too!

One Conversation with a Friend:
Me: I think I need a new comforter. I just want a new one.
Friend: Hindi, bumili ka ng boyfriend.
(San nanggaling yun?)

There is no way I would buy a boyfriend! Lol!
I should be the one singing “If You Can Afford Me” by Katy Perry!

Time. So precious. There is no turning back.
Focus on today. It will show me what to do with tomorrow. It will lead me to paths to who I will become. It will show me the road leading to many people. Waiting doesn’t have to be painful and full of pressure. It can also be productive and full of appreciation. I’m glad, I realized that now, while I am waiting.

I’m glad I re-read the book and dropped All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten for the meantime. 

9:09

Munimuni sa Araw ng Kalayaan

7:37PM

Mga Nawala.

1. Walang pasok ngayong araw dahil ika-116 na anibersaryo ng Araw ng Kalayaan ng Pilipinas. 
GOOGLE HEADER TODAY! Hurray to Print Screen!

                Pagkatapos ng pahapyaw na discussion kung bakit walang pasok bukas:
                Pupil M: Cher, andun ka ba nung sumugod ang mga Espanyol?
                Cher Kat: Hala. Anong gagawin ko dun?! Balik na nga lang tayo sa paggamit ng ruler! 

2. Wala na kong advisory class. Yehey! Pero nakakamiss din naman. On the contrary, mas marami akong handled kids ngayong taon, an average of 62 kids/class, nagtuturo ako ng Grade 3 Science sa limang sections, 300+ kids, every day ang aking mga bagets. Minsan, Ate pa rin ang tawag nila sakin. Oh ha! Oh ha!  

3. Yung 50 minutes na alloted academic time para sa Science sa bawat class, na-reduce sa 40 minutes, kasi gusto nila makauwi na kaming lahat ng 11:30, pero ang out talaga ay 11:40. Since mejo ok na ang aking classroom management skills, nakakapagturo na ko. Pero 10 minutes, is still 10 minutes, makakapag-independent practice pa kami ng mas marami sana nun!

Mga Bago

4. Dahil na-engganyo si housemate sa trip kong weekly meal plan, nakisabay na sya. Oo, nawiwili na din akong magluto lately. Lagi na akong may prepared baon. Ang saya-saya lang ! :) :) :) Kanina, tinapos namin ang aming 2-week meal plan.  

5. Hindi ko gusto amoy ng cumin at thyme, pero dahil ang mga gusto kong i-try na recipes ay meron nyan, ayun, kasama na sila sa grocery list. 

6. Mejo naaaliw akong mag-pinta-pinta lately. Kanina, inayos ko yung aking teaching kit dahil hassle ang pagdadala ng backpack ko sa kada class na papasukan ko. Ayun, more more drawing at more more painting. Mukhang gawa din ng grade three kid yung pagkakagawa ko. Pero masaya pala. Balak ko pa bumili ng iba't-ibang sizes ng paint brushes.
TRYING HARD. Aside from cooking, painting is something I had newly found to be relaxing. The tree is .my favorite piece I had made today.  

Mga Plano.

7. Tuwing tinatanong ako kung anong balak ko after this school year, di pa rin ako makapagbigay ng konkretong sagot. Buti na lang may career guidance at counseling kaming pagdadaanan. Kung anuman ang piliin ko, ang sigurado ko lang ay involved pa din ito sa education.

8. Nag-inquire na ko about sa isang Diploma course sa graduate school ng isang prestihiyosong open university. Dapat naman talaga naka-enrol na ko, pero hindi ko tinuloy. Di ko pa din nasasabi kay papa na hindi pa ko enrolled. Lilipat na naman ako ng school, sana huli na ito. Pangatlong graduate school ko na to pag nagkataon, pero wala pa kong natatapos. Puro simula. 

9. Diploma in Research and Development ang balak kong aralin. Magiging malaking tulong ito sakin at pahirap din at the same time (ganun talaga, kelangan kong magtyaga at magsipag), bago i-pursue ang iba pang post-graduate studies plans ko sa buhay. 

Steady Lang.

10. May nag-aya ng date, dapat kanina, kaso tinatamad talaga ako at ayokong lumabas. Ayaw na din nya I think. Lol. Keri lang. No pressure.

8:13 PM

Mr. Nice Guy

Warning: Ang post na ito ay bunga ng pagmumuni-muni pagkatapos ng unang limang araw sa paaralan. Medyo lutang. Medyo kyeme lang. Medyo lost. Ang hirap isalin sa Filipino ng Science lessons!!!!!

Bunga rin ito ng pagkahawa ko ng OCness ng isang kasama ko. Araw-araw na kong may checklist/to do list per class. That is on top of the lesson plan pa.

1. I like a nerdy guy. Or silent type guy. The total opposite of my perky and loud personality.

2. I could fall for a techie guy too.

3. I will definitely fall for someone who loves to read books or reading in general. I could picture myself with him, sitting side-by-side, lost in our own worlds of reading. (I think ito lang ang silent treatment na pwede kong ma-tolerate.)

4. Someone who loves watching  tv series.

5. Someone who could make my coffee the way I like it.

6. Someone who loves adventure.

7. Someone who would hold me close on stormy nights. Calm me down when a loud thunderstorm strikes.

8. Someone whom I could call my friend. I could rant about anything yet make me see the good sides of things.

9. Someone who is a neat freak.

10. Someone who can cook.

11. Someone who reveres his parents and older people.

12. Someone willing to cut my nails.

13. Someone who knows what he wants in life.

14. Applicable din yung maginoo pero medyo bastos.

Wala lang. Naisip ko lang yang mga yan habang naglalaba ko kanina. At dahil wala kong bagong post, eto na lang. Harhar. Effortless ang pag-iisip ko nyan. Effortful ang pag-hope na merong ganyan!! Lols.


Year of Redemption

As SY 2014-2015 opens tomorrow, my redemption also begins. Last year had been a challenging one and going through it had meant I survived! In a teacher's life, the first few years of teaching is usually the hardest part.

As SY 2014-2015 opens tomorrow, my days will be all about my new kids. Though I don't have an advisory class this year, I had promised my partner teacher that I will help her with her class. I am adopting her class.

As SY 2014-2015 opens tomorrow, my 2-year stint will slowly come to a close. If I want to stay as a public school teacher is something I am taking into consideration. However, I am not closing my doors to bolder opportunities.

As SY 2014-2015 opens tomorrow, I promise to find love. Love for my kids and of course, the other kind of love too! That one which makes one's heart skip a beat.

Being a Resource Volunteer last summer made me realize a lot of things. Made me more aware of my teaching style and also taught me how to give constructive feedback and suggestions to incoming teachers. There was a point that I felt drained and inadequate because my experiences weren't enough. Nonetheless, I told myself I should not feel bad. We should never force ourselves to give more than what we have.

As every year and every kids can never be the same, I take this year as another year of many many firsts. As to what kind of firsts, I am about to discover day by day.

The second wave of teachers whom I volunteered for in Pangasinan graduated last night. I felt like a mother, too nervous and excited for all of them at the same time. Starting tomorrow, we embark into this journey of transformation-- of this nation and of ourselves.